Fall is in the Air

By October 28, 2014Blog

I drive a bright yellow truck, The Big Cheese. Because my Rat Terrier, Rosco, has torn out a substantial number of wires on the under side of said truck while going after mice and pack rats who enjoy living in the truck’s cozy carriage, I have had to employ a very complicated fence and gate system. I have an ‘inner yard’ then an ‘outer yard’ then an ‘outside the yard’ where my bright yellow truck lives. Only a short while ago the leaves on the cottonwood trees behind the truck were as bright yellow as the truck itself. Now they’re all gone.

When I arrived home from a recent trip the bright yellow leaves were gathered in a mound, hugging the bottom of my front door. My door is red and the visual was stunning; I didn’t want to but had to sweep those gorgeous leaves away from my door.

From where I’m sitting I can see The Big Cheese sitting in the outer perimeter, the cottonwood trees behind it bare of leaves. A magpie was carrying something and putting it in the crook of a branch. It’s nice to be able to see what those rascally magpies are up to but that’s the only positive aspect of bare trees.

I try to find what positives I can during the part of autumn that sees colors fade, then fall to the ground. The weather is cooler, which is a plus. My mood is far from mania during this season but depression could settle in if I’m not diligent. I’ll dig out my little but powerful mood light that I put on the kitchen counter and turn on during breakfast fixings. I also try to keep busy.

If I was going to point to reasons why I stay vigilant as far as my changing moods are concerned, it would be two seasons, Spring and Autumn. They’re the birthing seasons, the times when our planet goes through profound changes. When these seasons approach I grow cautious.

One thing I don’t do during Autumn is go into my woods. It’s a beautiful time and I miss my favorite spots along the creek, but I have also found bear scat in the woods, quite near my house, and I have no desire to meet up with one of them! I think leaving wild animals to themselves is the proper thing to do. A mountain lion killed a deer across the creek from my house a while ago and I really don’t want to run into one of them either! Some people report wildlife sightings to the Game and Fish but my few neighbors and I simply don’t encroach on their territory during foraging time. The wildlife are merely getting ready for Winter. The woods will be fine without me or my dogs, until the snow falls. I’m looking forward to snow falling. Once Winter arrives I’ll be out of the cautious time, until Spring arrives.

2 Comments

  • Chris says:

    Jessie, As I read the teaser for this blog, I took pause. My son, almost 19 years old, has been living with Bipolar Disorder since he was a child and, he too, struggles greatly during the spring and autumn. My family is currently in the throes of his Autumn. I, his mom, am teary-eyed as I write this, first, because he had a particularly difficult morning. But second, when I encounter another who is either living with a mental illness of his or her own or, as my family is, living with someone who is struggling with one, I feel validation and an invaluable connection. It is cliché, but it helps to know that we are not alone in what tends to be a very lonely place. Thank you for so beautifully putting into words your thoughts as you go through your own personal “Autumn”. It gives me hope for my son that one day he will accept help and find his way through, around or along side his unique situation.

  • Judy says:

    Jessie,
    Just finished your book, Resilience and found it to be real and profound. My daughter has bipolar disorder and has struggled for a long time and is in a good place right now. I hope that things are going well for you and admire your honesty and determination. Bless you and your family.

Leave a Reply