Confusion, A Poem

By June 13, 2017Blog

Fear

Fear

Holding my breath

Terror

Grips me

I hide

Don’t know why

 

Everyone

Is Staring

At me

Saying I’m

Weird

Saying I’m

Wrong

 

Someone

Please help me

Someone

Please hide me

My dog

Licks my

Face

 

I hold onto

Her

She doesn’t see

What others see

She loves me

In spite of

Myself

 

They tell me

I’m wrong

No one wants to

Hurt me

They tell me

Sleep is good

For my brain

 

I crawl into bed

With my dog

Curled next to my

Stomach

Warm

Safe

Secure

 

Someone help me

Please

I can’t stay in my

Bed

Forever

I’m hungry

But tired

 

My children

Will be home

From School

Soon

There’s no

Food

They’ll hate me

 

I get up

Leave safety behind

Get in my car

Go to the market

For food

Terrifying

I might be sick in the aisle.

 

I have to feed them

I have to feed them

I have to feed them

I need help

I need help

I need help

I can’t do this alone

Any more.

 

 

2 Comments

  • smileandrelax says:

    Honest and moving poetry! I can relate –

  • Wendy W says:

    My daughter has been living in a complete state of terror for months. She is being discharged tomorrow from the hospital 6/27/17. This is her third hospitalization in a year. She is 33 years old, she is a college graduate with a BSW, and she has a serious mental illness.
    I have been caregiving for her for many years now and I need to create a way for her to live safely more independently. There are very few, if any, board and care facilities that are safe (no drugs/alcohol, protection from predators,etc).
    I want to start a non-profit board and care that would be like a co-op of parents and loved ones that volunteer to help run the facility. What I have found is a huge gap in the quality and availability of care for the average person with a serious mental illness. This is one of the reasons so many caregivers are the mothers of these adult children with mental illnesses.

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