All Posts By

pamela

Miki D

By | Story | 5 Comments

Most of us, or possibly all of us with depression are not looking to hear any advice, the million reasons why we shouldn’t be depressed, or opinion about how to snap out of it. What I want when I’m depressed is to sit next to me, put your arms around me and say “I’m sorry, this sucks. But you are not alone.”

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Marybeth S.

By | Story | 5 Comments

As far back as I can remember I struggled with highs and lows. I wish I had gotten treatment much earlier but I didn’t want a mental illness. It was a sign of weakness. Of course I could be well if I tried harder. Worked harder. Prayed harder.

I like so many others didn’t believe it was a sickness.

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Isolation

By | Blog | No Comments

I wanted to be alone, except that I didn’t. I didn’t want anyone to contact me, except that I did. I didn’t want to isolate, but it was all I knew to do. So I stayed in. A lot. No one to talk to—no texts, no calls, no social media, no contact. The blandness of it staggers the imagination. And I didn’t want any of it.

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Letters to Bella

By | Blog | No Comments

That lesson is that no matter how small the world around you may seem and no matter how many perfect smiles you see, that behind closed doors we are all human. We each have stories. We each have known pain. There is no shame in being human nor is there shame in having a mental illness. Sometimes it is in opening the door and showing our true selves that we allow the world to open it’s arms and embrace us.

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Rhymes With Patients

By | Blog | 11 Comments

To put things into perspective, it’s been twelve weeks since my last breakdown. That’s eighty-four days since I was admitted to the psych ward, seventy-two since I was discharged. Just a little over ten weeks of being on my own in the New World of a daily anti-psychotic/depression/anxiety medications cocktail. To put it mildly, I’m still adjusting. This is not a game for the impatient.

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Life Lessons From The Couch

By | Blog | 2 Comments

I’ve learned to accept that there’s always going to be something to be depressed about but, on the flip side, there’s an equal amount of joy to be found. Seeing bright red tulips standing tall at the entrance to my apartment building is an instant mood-lifter.

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What My Illness Means To Me by Michael Hendrick

By | Blog | No Comments

A lot of people complain for trite reasons about the things they can’t control, they gossip about the things that are alarming and they judge people for the things they do, but if they lived with mental illness they would realize that pretty much any of that is worthless. It serves no purpose other than building them up from a place of insecurity.

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Being OK With Being OK by Davs

By | Blog | 2 Comments

What it is to be OK, I am learning only now. Learning to be OK with being OK? That’s where I fall. I’m supposed to be this great mom, artist, friend, writer, individual who breaks glass ceilings. I’m supposed to have an active social life, always adding to my contacts, painting soup bowls for charity. Never sweat pants, never three days with no shower, never sitting alone in a stairwell crying because I can’t come to terms with just being OK. Just here, living, breathing.

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I, Robot

By | Blog | 20 Comments

“Drug sleep” redefines what I used to know as slumber, but then the effects of my medication seem to be redefining so much more than I’d expected that it’s not surprising that something as simple and natural as sleep should become a different experience. Disorienting.

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Fear of Fear Itself

By | Blog | No Comments

So today, I feel sadness, anger, heartache and relief. But I will not feel fear. I have a healthy fear of fear because of its ability to stifle and constrict me and those around me. I will not fear that illness will rear its ugly head and sideline any of my children as they chase their dreams. I will not fear that acts of terror will strike them down. I will not allow fear to keep me and those I love from living life to the fullest. I will not allow a fear of mental illness, or terrorism, to put arbitrary limits on us. I will not allow fear to win.

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