I was first diagnosed with bipolar disorder 7th grade. I really didn’t understand what was happening, I used to be such a happy person, suddenly I was trapped inside my mind. Of course not knowing what to do, I went to my friends for help, not realizing middle schoolers have no concept about mental illness. I ended up pushing them all away, what I was going through was too hard for them to understand. It was like I was a different person to them.
I started cutting, using anything sharp I could find. I also planned out a suicide and would have gone through with it, but then, God I didn’t know how to get the child’s lock off the pill bottle! I was hospitalized September of my 8th grade year. I almost then felt guilty because some people there had been raped or abused by there parents. I had a good loving family and a “good life” so what was wrong with me? Why was I doing all of this?
I isolated myself from everyone, spent alot of time in my head, which wasn’t good. Even when I received correct medication I still wasn’t quite right. Not until I went to highschool and met my friends with other mental illness did I become determined to be there and be the friend I didn’t have in my time of need. Now, still in high school, I hear the jokes about mental illness go around all the time. They don’t realize it’s such a real thing, to them it’s just a punch line. I feel like I have to hide the fact that I’m bipolar, not wanting to be just another joke. Kids now are so uneducated about mental illness, making kids like me hide it like it’s something to be ashamed of. We need to end the stigma of mental illness.