I began my journey through depression at the age of 12. There was no traumatic event that brought it on- it was simply genetics. Depression has traveled through my mother’s side of the family for many generations, the only difference with me being that I was the first to ask for help. When I was 15, I was diagnosed with major depression, Cyclothymia and Borderline Personality Disorder. That was the only day I ever cried in psychiatry. Not because I was depressed, but because I was relieved. I could finally begin the healing process. Now before anyone jumps on me about how America is over-medicated, know that I tried the natural route first. An all organic diet, exercise, vitamin supplements, etc. It didn’t work. Whether some choose to scoff at it or not, some people actually do need the help of pharmaceuticals because their brain chemistry is simply unbalanced. I had to try a number of medications before I found the right ones that worked for me but when I did, I knew that not giving up was the best decision I ever made. I’m writing today because when I was suffering with depression, hearing the words of doctors and therapists isn’t what I wanted. I wanted to hear a success story. I wanted somebody who had gone through the same thing as me to let me know that one day all the pain would make sense and that there was a light at the end of the tunnel.            

I am now 20 years old and I’m happy to tell you that everything I wanted to hear then is true. It took a little while but all the pain makes sense now. In some ways, I believe that depression was just as much a blessing to me as it was a curse. The entire process is not something I would wish on anyone, but I definitely wouldn’t erase it if I had the chance. It made me stronger, more compassionate, and it forced me to fully appreciate everything that is good in my life. I’m here to tell current sufferers that I overcame depression and that they can too. There is an end to the darkness and it’s beauty is blinding. The best decision I ever made was at the tender age of 15, and that was to keep going.

2 responses to “Jordan”

  1. N says:

    I am very proud of you. I also suffer from borderline personality disorder. People like us are so strong. Keep on fighting the fight! You are an inspiration and love to hear stories like yours!

  2. S.D says:

    My name is not important but what is, is that people like you are willing to share their stories. I have struggled with depression for years, but I’m writing because I’ve seen symptoms of personality and bipolar disorder in my husband for many years. It has gotten much worse over the past year and he self medicates with drugs and alcohol. The awesome thing is that through a series of events, he has decided to acknowledge that he needs help.

    People like you sharing stories of victory is a great way to encourage people to step up, out and get the help that they need so that they can move towards a more healthy lifestyle. Thank you again for sharing. I’m looking forward to sharing some of these stories with him as well.

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