I was 17 when my house was raided by the cops. My brother had been selling drugs and the consequences followed. Unfortunately, I was the one to open the door. It was a single sheriff in uniform saying that someone had called 911 from my house. It was 6AM so I was the only one awake about to get ready for school. I told him I’ll go wake up my mom and he can talk to her. He asked if he can stand in the door way so I said yes.
As I’m on my way to get my mom I turn around and the sheriff is yelling with his gun pointed to my brothers room and 10 police guys with their guns out came running straight towards me. I was in instant shock my body couldn’t move and tears were streaming down my face. After they searched my house and did what they needed to I went on with my day like normal.
A few months later I started feeling weird, I wasn’t thinking like myself and I didn’t feel like myself. I felt like I was in a dream and I had anxiety when my mom would leave me. Two weeks later I went to a psychologist and they diagnosed me with PTSD, depression and anxiety. I have been in the darkest places. I have never dealt with a mental illness before this so this was a huge eye opener. I cried everyday for 3 months. I thought about suicide everyday for 3 months. I went to therapy 3 times a week for almost a year.
I’m now 19 and it has gotten a little better. I still have days where I get anxiety out of no where and I still deal with depression. Sometimes I feel the effects of the PTSD also. No one in my family has had a mental illness so it’s hard being around them when I’m not feeling right and I cry all the time they just don’t understand. But keep pushing and your days will get easier.