Kameron S

I was 17 when my house was raided by the cops. My brother had been selling drugs and the consequences followed. Unfortunately, I was the one to open the door. It was a single sheriff in uniform saying that someone had called 911 from my house. It was 6AM so I was the only one awake about to get ready for school. I told him I’ll go wake up my mom and he can talk to her. He asked if he can stand in the door way so I said yes.

As I’m on my way to get my mom I turn around and the sheriff is yelling with his gun pointed to my brothers room and 10 police guys with their guns out came running straight towards me. I was in instant shock my body couldn’t move and tears were streaming down my face. After they searched my house and did what they needed to I went on with my day like normal.

A few months later I started feeling weird, I wasn’t thinking like myself and I didn’t feel like myself. I felt like I was in a dream and I had anxiety when my mom would leave me. Two weeks later I went to a psychologist and they diagnosed me with PTSD, depression and anxiety. I have been in the darkest places. I have never dealt with a mental illness before this so this was a huge eye opener. I cried everyday for 3 months. I thought about suicide everyday for 3 months. I went to therapy 3 times a week for almost a year.

I’m now 19 and it has gotten a little better. I still have days where I get anxiety out of no where and I still deal with depression. Sometimes I feel the effects of the PTSD also. No one in my family has had a mental illness so it’s hard being around them when I’m not feeling right and I cry all the time they just don’t understand. But keep pushing and your days will get easier.

2 responses to “Kameron S”

  1. Russell says:

    8 years ago my wife passed away and my sleep went out of control. Then on December 10 th I wanted sleep so bad that I drank straight 16 oz bourbon with Benadryl but lived through it after the police got to me. Found out that I was sleep deprived and depression and anxiety kicked in. There is more to this but my life is not the same as it use to be. I find I am shaking and scared often. All bad.

  2. Cre8ivesteph says:

    My son has depression and anxiety. He self medicated with drugs for years, getting deeper, and deeper into the drug culture. After being in treatment several times, and being in and out of jail for the past two years, he reached the place where he realized he wanted to do right, and accept help.
    He has depression, anxiety, and ptsd, from being in situations that he feared for his life. With rehab, medication, changing his culture (cutting off all contact with the past), and looking to the future, he is doing better.
    I too have depression and anxiety, much of it triggered from my son’s past. Very much like you, I have had traumatic experiences, that were not my fault, but the fault of my son’s choices.
    I focus on the positive, the little every day beauties, light filtering through the trees, birds on my feeder, colorful sunsets.
    Being in the moment, controlling my mind, I am able to move forward.
    You are young and have a bright future.
    My son is 19.

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