My name is Miriam, I’m from Spain and I’m 17 years old. When I was 13 I started to have depression. I’ve never understood how it started. My first year with this mental disorder I was alone, I cried every day in school, in the house, in the bath. My family had never been worried for me. Then I lost my friends. In addition, when I started high school teenagers didn’t want be my friends because I’m Asian. The time was passing and I was not improving but I was deteriorating increasingly. Nobody wanted to know about me. When I was 16 my sister confessed to me that she had depression since 13 but she never told me. At this moment my heart was broken because she’s like my mom. Since then I always wonder why she has never been worried for me.
This year I met a boy on Twitter who has depression too. I felt loved for the first time, but when I was to meet him face to face … he didn’t exist, he just was a lie. Thanks to the event I thought that what happened was meant to be this way. I didn’t have answers just questions. Then I thought I needed to visit a psychologist. I was very dark, I could only think of suicide (and I tried), heard sad music, come up to such a point of seeing series of suicides and murders, etc. I wasted time with the psychologist but they couldn’t understand me and didn’t help me like I wanted. Nowadays I continue with this, doctors have diagnosed me with eating disorders, OCD, and obviously depression. Everything in my world has changed, I really feel alone and I’m trying to control my mental disorder but sometimes I can’t..