I’m not good at this but i’m gonna try. Since the age of about 11 i’ve had problems with depression. I would pick up a knife and just wish I could end it. I got help that year, and it went away for a little while for the most part. Then at around the time of Sophomore year of high school it came back. I had just transferred to a new school that was absolute shit. I hated everything, the classes and the students mainly. I needed help so we went looking again. After a few therapists that I didn’t like I finally found one. I saw him for about a year until I was also sent to a psychiatrist.
I’ve been put on just about everything that’s been approved for my age, and either they wouldn’t work or they would cause weight gain which would make my situation 10 times worse. Then I was officially diagnosed, Major Depressive Disorder, a few months ago. I needed a diagnosis because i kept wondering “what the hell is wrong with me?” I thought it was something else, even though deep down i knew it was depression.
My mother was diagnosed a few years ago and i’m a lot like her, so I guess it was self explanatory. There’s always been so much anger, insecurity, all the other bad stuff. I’m not going to lie, i’m not cured, it’s just not possible. But one thing I can promise is that it will ALWAYS get better. No matter what you’re going through, it’s going to pass. Everything happens for a reason, so no matter what it is, something good will come out of it eventually.
I’m currently in senior year of high school and I can see the (figurative) finish line. Even though these last few weeks are going by as slowly as humanly possible, I know the struggle of high school will end soon. This is getting long, so i’m going to end this soon. But even though things aren’t perfect right now, i don’t regret anything, because everything that has happened to me has led me here. And though it’s not perfect, for the moment, i’m alright. And that’s all I can ask for.