I deal with depression and anxiety on a daily basis, some days being more bearable than others. It can literally hit me from one day to the next. And what’s truly amazing is how quick it comes on. It’s almost like changing the filter lens on a camera. Sharp and clear become slightly blurred and hazy. Nothing is focused right; my head hurts from straining to get some type of focus back. My muscles become harder to move; slow is the new fast. A new sense of reality sets in and depression becomes so familiar, that it feels just as good as a warm embrace from the people whom I care and understand me the most. Depression becomes home and happiness is a visitor. It’s astounding how comfortable it becomes, almost like a bad habit (and you know what they say about bad habits right?)
And while it all appears so comfy, the scary part is that you can’t get out. Imagine being shoulder deep in quick sand that you didn’t know you stepped in it until just that point. You know you need to get out to stay alive but you don’t know how, because it’s slowly sinking you into oblivion. It seems as though no matter what you do, you’re still sinking. You panic not knowing what to do. The only way you can be saved is if someone reaches out their hand for you to grab or if you stand still and think logically. Then when you’re finally out you swear you will never think like that again, continue on the path of life, being careful and avoiding any signs of danger until….you step into quicksand again.