Amy’s Story

I knew from childhood there was something not right about myself. I had known when I was  young that bipolar disease ran on my father's side. My great uncle took his own life.  My dad's sister was very much out of control. She was a nurse that worked on the psych ward.  As I now can say with giggles, that it takes one to know one. To me I think that's true, but not being a bad thing. Bonding with others who share the sad difficulties is a great thing.

I was so out of control by the time I got to college.  The problem with the label and stigma was that I kept running away from the idea even though I graduated with a degree in Psychology. The real challenge came when I was referred  to a Psychiatrist. The road was more than hard, severe side effects and nearly loosing my life.  From this up hill battle I lost my job and have not been able to work since. I can say I have been stable for the past four years. I always felt ashamed of my illness.  Tennessee has a program for individuals with many different disabilities. While I was there I learned to accept my illness for what it was, but not for who I was.  Making that milestone has made all the difference.  I will always be a proactive patient, but I will take with me what is special about how different it makes me, the good and some times not so wonderful. It is those around me that have been the greater challenge. I've had to make difficult choices on setting perimeters. I've had to close the door on close relationships due to lack of respect for me and my illness. For me I just keep writing and enjoying the company who take me for who I am.