Theresa’s Story

I was considered the "well-adjusted child" all my life.  I was well liked, I was a good student, and I rarely got into trouble.  I would say that I grew up in a loving family and for the most part enjoyed my upbringing.  I have a Bachelor's Degree, Master's degree, and work in my dream job.  My physical health is quite good and my relationships with family and friends are healthy and meanigful.  BUT it hasn't always been that way.  Twelve years ago I was driving to a job I hated and I thought...if only I could have a minor car accident and get injured a bit it would allow for people to see that I was hurting.  I was sad all the time, I would sit in my car at lunch and pray that my anxiety, nervousness, and sadness would subside. I withdrew from all of the things I loved, I started losing weight (which would have been a blessing had I not been feeling like crap!) and did not venture out of the house much at all.  I went through the motions at work and in life until one day I just couldn't do it anymore. I called my mom and asked her to help. I told her that I could not go another day to work.  She called my boss and told him I needed some time off.

I eventually went on short-term disability for about 2 months. I went into therapy, started taking Zoloft for my anxiety and depression, and met regularly with a therapist. I started to feel like myself again, I started to enjoy life, and I started to realize that I did not have to be perfect or well-adjusted to have a fulfilling life. I was able to rediscover my true self and stop being someone I was not, stop trying to meet others' expectations of me. I returned to work (that was not easy to do) and stayed there another year until my first child was born. Life started to feel more worthwhile and I started to embrace my mental illness as an aspect of my health and not a definition of who I was.

I have had bouts with depression since then, but I recognize the signs now and get to my therapist immediately. I am open about my illness with many (no one at my job knows, yet) and embrace that I have an illness that requires treatment (not embarrassment or stigma) just as High Blood Pressure, Diabetes, and a broken leg might need. I feel free and hopeful for my future and the future of my children. Living authentically and with vulnerability is so freeing and so wise--that I have decided it is the only way to live.