Fear
Fear
Holding my breath
Terror
Grips me
I hide
Don’t know why
Everyone
Is Staring
At me
Saying I’m
Weird
Saying I’m
Wrong
Someone
Please help me
Someone
Please hide me
My dog
Licks my
Face
I hold onto
Her
She doesn’t see
What others see
She loves me
In spite of
Myself
They tell me
I’m wrong
No one wants to
Hurt me
They tell me
Sleep is good
For my brain
I crawl into bed
With my dog
Curled next to my
Stomach
Warm
Safe
Secure
Someone help me
Please
I can’t stay in my
Bed
Forever
I’m hungry
But tired
My children
Will be home
From School
Soon
There’s no
Food
They’ll hate me
I get up
Leave safety behind
Get in my car
Go to the market
For food
Terrifying
I might be sick in the aisle.
I have to feed them
I have to feed them
I have to feed them
I need help
I need help
I need help
I can’t do this alone
Any more.
Honest and moving poetry! I can relate –
My daughter has been living in a complete state of terror for months. She is being discharged tomorrow from the hospital 6/27/17. This is her third hospitalization in a year. She is 33 years old, she is a college graduate with a BSW, and she has a serious mental illness.
I have been caregiving for her for many years now and I need to create a way for her to live safely more independently. There are very few, if any, board and care facilities that are safe (no drugs/alcohol, protection from predators,etc).
I want to start a non-profit board and care that would be like a co-op of parents and loved ones that volunteer to help run the facility. What I have found is a huge gap in the quality and availability of care for the average person with a serious mental illness. This is one of the reasons so many caregivers are the mothers of these adult children with mental illnesses.