Almost everyday I post a new photo of what I fixed for dinner as food and cooking to manage my type 2 diabetes is increasingly become a special interest of mine, but don’t let my fancy food posts fool you, cooking for myself is sometimes the only productive task I accomplish for the day. Many times it’s just the one meal, I’m otherwise off drinking protein shakes or eating string cheese and cashews because I don’t have the energy to clean and food prep/cook 2-3 meals in a row.
I know a lot of folks understand that feeling right now. You might be experiencing the COVID-19 quarantine blues, overwhelmed, your circadian rhythm might be off, depression, guilt, or shame for waking up without motivation to stick to a routine, diet, or accomplish something productive each day like you used to do under normal circumstances.
This pandemic is hella scary and it doesn’t help at all but my chronic exhaustion isn’t from the threat of COVID-19 and quarantine stress. This has been my life dealing with anxiety, panic attacks, agoraphobia, and bipolar 1 disorder over the years.
Chronic physical, or mental illness, and other disabilities don’t affect people without some sort of energy depletion. This heavy, sedating, somehow both emotional and physical fatigue has been the normal for many people for a variety of reasons, and it’s so hard to explain to someone who hasn’t lived it.
I sincerely hope, that not only will you make it through this incredibly taxing experience, but also that having had lived this sort of stress fatigue, that I do not wish on anyone, you can finally understand why lazy is an ableist concept.
Nobody doesn’t want to not be and feel useful, able, capable, and productive. When you can barely get out of bed, or off the couch, it’s not for lack of desire or discipline just as a bucket of water gets heavier and harder to hold onto the longer you carry it.
Some people have been carrying water for so long that picking up anything else no matter how easy and light it may seem to someone else can actually feel and at times be legitimately impossible.
Go easy on yourself and hopefully when life gets back to normal for many of you, you will find a new understanding, compassion, and learned appreciation for every level of human functioning.