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Bipolar Disorder Archives - Bring Change to Mind

The Power of Music

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I have very little power over things in my life, except for how I choose to perceive things. I can’t control other people’s actions or words, or any circumstance that comes my way from out in left field, or the frequency that my bipolar challenges run on. But I can choose to surround myself with positive energy, including music.

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Full Time Unemployment

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Thankfully, now I’m in a good place. Even on a bad day, life is pretty good. I believe this is in part due to more day-to-day routine, calm and time for joy. I have the space to see the middle-of-the road moods before they can fester into something more serious.

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Fear of Fifty

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This year, I want to celebrate other people. I want to celebrate the friends and family who’ve accompanied me on this journey. I want to celebrate the people who’ve loved me fearlessly but also those who helped me grow through conflict and pain.

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Maintaining Status Quo is My Best Sometimes

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I feel that at my core, I’m a pretty positive guy. I don’t play the victim to my illness or my circumstances. I’m resilient and can handle anything. Maybe my life is predestined to be one of constant struggle. I don’t know. I do know I’m more than exhausted from being irrationally positive all the time. It’s draining and I can’t do it anymore.

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Well Mixed

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Not long ago, I began to feel the darkness creeping in. After several good months, I was caught off guard when I felt the depression returning. Bipolar depression can be very stubborn so the onset is always scary. Will it be worse than last time? Will it last longer? Will it destroy more? Not knowing how hungry each bout of depression or mania will get can be paralyzing. Even when I understand what is happening on an intellectual level, my emotions can still take on a life of their own.

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Getting Better

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I began to show symptoms long before I (or anyone) acknowledged there was a problem. Over time, my life became a predictable pattern of extreme emotional instability and a lot of damage control. It wasn’t until my external life began to reflect my internal chaos that someone spoke up.

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